Getting Off the High Horse

 

In the past week I have been slandered, insulted, even threatened. I have been called arrogant, egocentric, delusional and maniacal... In fact, they have said they may not allow me to pass my "part 6 (sic) MBBS exams". Interestingly, majority of such statements came from a particular profession more than others; yes, the very ones I said must have been taught sauciness in school. Well, I am a doctor, to be, and I hereby, here and now, pledge allegiance to, and pitch my tent with, Doctors– the ones with powers to pass me, or not.

 

Perhaps I have been biased in my stance. Perhaps.

 

In this sequel to CONSULTANT, My FOOT, and The Eyes of JANUS, I shall therefore endeavour to set aside passion and emotion, affiliation and allegiance, set the issues raised on the table, and discuss them openly. For the truth is, everyone has been toying with the truth– as the Yoruba say, Kò s'ẹ́ni tí kìí kọ ebè s'ọ́dọ̀ ara ẹ̀; no one hoes the soil away from himself. But the Yoruba also say, ẹjọ́ ò ní jẹ́ ẹjọ́ ẹni k'á má mọ̀ọ́ dá; one cannot have a matter and not know how to judge it.

 

The Eyes of JANUS. On the NMA Strike, JOHESU VS NMA. An Interesting Perspective

 

When I said...

When I said the politician like everyone else wants (his credentials) to be doctored, not nursed, I was referring to the modern trend of everyone being doctors, PhD holders, even when such certificates are bought or forged.

 

When I said other health workers did la cram, la pour in school, I didn't mean there were no brilliant students in those courses. I meant most of them cram structures, equations, doctrines,... I meant in Medicine, more than anywhere else, cramming is a tricky art for one needs in-depth understanding and demonstrable applicability to survive– particularly the clinical exams, and ward rounds.

 

When I referred to my pharmacy wife, it is NOT because I do not respect her, as has been suggested; it is because I respect her enough for mention. In fact, if there is any bias I have been guilty of, it is that I have been very fair to pharmacists, more than anyone else; which is because I believe they are the "men of honour," only they are joining hands with the wrong folk...

 

I am now aware that the Nursing and Midwifery Council of Nigeria (NMCN) has been registering male midwives since 2007, but how many of them were trained in Nigeria? and practise in Nigeria? Since when have midhusbands been registered elsewhere in the world? And I know that a lot of high-ranking nurses– in Nigeria as well as all over the world– are yet opposed to the idea; or why did it become a court case? I have never seen one... so for me they still do not exist– now I'm being like the Biblical Nathaniel; or is it Thomas?

 

When I said the admission requirements for Medicine are higher than for others in the health sector, I meant currently, not in the 50’s, 60’s or 70’s when some professor was in university. I meant a lot, not all, of these people were (repeatedly) denied Medicine for lack of admissible results before they moved on to study para-Medicine, and now they yet want to have their cake and eat it: consultancy, CMD-ship...

 

When I said Nightingale was put in charge of orderlies, it was to mean she oversaw their work, as nurses yet do, and even screened and employed them. That was how much she was respected, and is, even by me.

 

When I said Nightingale did not leave behind an oath; of course, she didn't. The Nightingale Pledge was composed in 1893 by Lystra Gretter,

and modified in 1935– hopefully story for another day...

 

NMA Strike, JOHESU VS NMA. An Interesting Perspective: Consultant My Foot

 

They have said...

They have said they had higher JAMB scores than most Medical Students. How many of them did? There is no denying that each course of study

has brilliant students within its fold, but in what proportion? 

 

They have said their courses are just as strenuous. Again, how many of them? The eighteen-month course? Àbí the three-year own. As the Yoruba say, he who has not been to another's farm will claim his father's is the biggest... Why aren't the paramedics turned medics not supporting these claims? At least they have been on both sides and are in the best position to compare... and some have come out to tell us how they wrote JAMB after JAMB, year after year, to finally get into Medicine.

 

They have said they took Reproductive and Digestive Physiology, as well as Neuroanatomy as borrowed courses. In the Medicine Curriculum there are six in-courses in each of Physiology and Anatomy. Can someone who studies three outta twelve claim to know quite as much as one who studies all?

 

They have said we use the same textbooks. As we all know, knowledge goes beyond textbooks. I can as well not go to Med School and just read textbooks; will that make me a Doctor? will you lemme treat you?

 

They forget that we all have textbooks on the market. Will reading a nursing textbook make me a nurse, registrable with NMCN? or reading a PCG textbook, a pharmacist, registrable with PSN?

 

They have said they scored higher than (some) Medical Students in their borrowed courses. Yet, if I score better than (some) nursing students in a core nursing course, does that make me better than nurses? a better nurse? or a nurse at all?

 

They have said they attended the same classes as the biochemists, physiologists, anatomists and pharmacologists that teach us at some point in our programme. Yet, if a student I taught to pass JAMB ends up being a nurse, does that make me a nurse, or better than a nurse?

 

If she ends up teaching in School of Nursing, does that make me a nurse, or better?

 

One has said nursing students won final-year medical students "in an interdepartmental DEBATE on bothering national and international health issues" (capitals mine). How does a debate help me to manage patients? Na by force to write article? If una no get point why belabour the issue na? Ó ga o. Bí'yà nlá bá gbé'ni á¹£án'lẹ̀, kékeré á máa gun ni; when the big issues fell one, the small ones walk over him...

 

They have said we bar them from attaining the peak of their careers: consultancy. Why do auxiliary nurses not become Chief Matrons? Why do orderlies with as much length of service as CNOs not have a title of honorary nurse conferred on them? Why can't pharmacy technicians become Director of Pharmaceutical Services? Why can't a gateman become a Minister of Defence?

 

They have said that a nurse-led hospital in the UK having an MRI machine as against many hospitals in Nigeria not having one is proof that nurses make better Directors. Yet the questions I ask are, Did the nurse buy the machine out of her own purse? Do Nigerian CMDs control government's budget or priorities?

 

They have said Doctors are no big deal. One wonders why they urge us back to work when their wealth of experience can very well replace us. They must not have understood what it means to (want to) be consultants: to be your own boss, to stand alone, to take responsibility…

 

They have said C. we-sef-waka-come is here to stay. Well, I agree. But on what basis shall these consultants be appointed? In the health sector of all places, consultancy should be about competency and not length of service, about residency and not experience. After all, we deal in lives; and lives are irreplaceable. Are members of JOHESU going to enrol in residency programmes to become consultants, or are they just going to share titles of honorary consultancy? Because in the latter case, they will start off with experience/length of service, and, like everything else in Nigeria, end up with Oga at the Top, and godfatherism, and na-who-get-money-pass.

 

They have said they study 18 000 drugs in one year, that they learn about 25 000 drugs– like we don’t! Please ask them why they can't cure cancer or sickle cell disease, or defeat malaria... Since, apparently, Medical Doctors do not know about that many drugs– at least that is how they make it seem– how come we know just the drug(s) to prescribe? how come they come around to lobby for their drugs to be prescribed? how come the ones posing as Doctors to patients and criticising us in their presence play Nicodemus and bring their relatives to us in secret? Yes, I said it! Na lie? No be so una dey do?

 

They have said we can't make diagnoses without them. Do they even know what clinical diagnosis is? or differentials? or provisional diagnosis?

 

They have said Doctors are egocentric. What about the nurses that ridicule Doctors in the presence of patients? Or that will not join ward rounds until summoned? Or paramedics that will consult as Doctors in their bedrooms and shops, and perform abortions on their beds and tables?

 

They have said we care about money. Who doesn't? They have said the only thing we care about is money! Then who saves the lives? They? Then why not manage patients when the Doctors are on strike? When they go on strike they lock everything up, even ordinary bed pans! But they won't tell you that. They do shifts and take night-off's... We don't.

 

We are at work Mondays to Fridays, 8 till 4; plus weekend calls every now and then. Still all we care about is money. Really?!

 

Click to read: Part 2