One of the biggest challenges a family caregiver faces when helping an aging parent or relative is finding your place among the medical team.

 

My sisters and I had that problem. Fortunately for us, in my mom's case, her cardiologist (and his health care team) never lost sight of our involvement. During each appointment and each medical treatment, the doctor and staff spoke directly to my mom and us. His office made a point to call one of us at home; to check on my mom and give updates.

 

It wasn't the same for us when caring for my dad, living with Alzheimer's disease. We were invisible to the doctor and the staff. My dad's health care team ignored us.

 

That was a recipe for disaster.

 

How Family Caregivers Build Effective Relationships with Physicians and Home Health Professionals

Early on in the caregiving stage, let the health care providers know your role in the recipient's health. Be specific and let them know how you plan to participate.

 

A good read about this topic is found on The New Old Age blog, "How Can the Doctor Aid the Caregiver?" It addresses the importance of family caring, Dr. Pauline Chen, points out that doctors have been slow to recognize family members who care for patients at home.

 

These family caregivers perform complex tasks; physically challenging and critical to a patient’s overall well-being, like dressing wounds, dispensing medication, and feeding, bathing and dressing. The caring tasks performed by family members were a responsibility. But over time these caregiving duties required little or no training, and see family's participation as less important.

 

The Caregiver Role

I've been there. Your caregiving role is hard and yes, most of us are not trained to help a person through the aging cycles. Quite frankly, it's a crap shoot. The work you do is extremely important. It shouldn't be dismissed.

 

A family caregiver's work is critical in a patient's well-being:

It's complex

It's physically challenging

Tasks include dress wounds, dispense medications, feed, bath and dress

 

Ways to be an Active Family Caregiver

You soon learn that the health care team, including yourself, focuses on the patient; the patient's health and wishes.

 

You should be valued. To make that happen, express your needs and consider how you are central to the loved one's care, not just someone who happens to be pushing the wheelchair.

 

Here's how to build value:

Participate in the care plan by including the tasks you help with, then set goals.

Ask questions about your loved one’s condition.

Request family meetings when you need to clarify goals and improve coordination.

Inform the care team about any changes in health and symptoms.

Get involved and know your loved's one personal health care records and keep consistent documentation.

Know that the role you play in giving direct care is very important.

Discuss your abilities & expectations at the start.

Learn about support groups and respite care.

Be active in your self-care to avoid exhaustion.

Include your loved one in the conversation, even if he seems unresponsive.

When working with home health care workers; communicate daily with the professional.

Ask the professionals how you can be an active caregiver and where to go to gain support.

Connect with your local area aging organization for suggestions and help.

Include your loved one in discussions about day-to-day events.

Engage in activities that your loved one enjoys.

Ask for help. Hire home care help when needed.

 

Caregiving duties are stressful and not all are simply physical and emotional. It's a mixed bag, and sometimes it's scary to open. Remember to care for yourself too. Often the role's demands are intense and we get lost in the maze. Try not to lose yourself.

 

By Carol Marak

Senior Care Contributor and Advocate

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